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Fourth in my series of talks for the Unitarians. |
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(young people down front)
(young people excused) [Thanks to my friend Kat for the story idea.] Living by Our Principles My last talk for this fine group was about ethics and morals, and about developing principles to live our lives by. From what I’ve seen, this group is in a lot better shape than many people, but in the spirit of continual improvement.... Principles aren’t worth much unless we apply them. Learning to live by our fundamental principles sounds easy, but it takes time and effort. I still work on it every day. We have to get into the habit, by thinking about what we’re doing as we make our little daily choices. When we see that we’ve violated a principle, which we all do on occasion, we should make a commitment to ourselves to try and act differently next time. We shouldn’t worry obsessively about mistakes of the past. Own your mistakes, correct them if you can, forgive yourself for them, then resolve to avoid making them in the future. In this way, we can gradually improve ourselves, and become better people. New Beginnings Everyone who lives in the real world suffers problems and stresses in their life. We sometimes look upon our neighbor and think wistfully, "If only I had her life." Or, "If only I had his life." Or maybe even, "If only I had my cat’s life." Then my problems would be over. Well, maybe. But we often overlook the unique burdens and stresses of other people, since we are thinking only of our own problems when we decide that our neighbor has a lighter load. In fact, our neighbor probably has burdens we don’t even know about. When we come to see that problems and stresses are a part of our journey through life, and quit trying to wish them away, we’re on the path to fulfillment. Many of our burdens are burdens of the past, that exist only because we won’t let go of them. We may be carrying anger, guilt, worry, remorse, and other negative emotions with us, as a result of something which happened last week, last year, or even many years ago. These things can sap our energy and drain our spirit. Instead of worrying and complaining about our burdens, we must carry them as best we can, do what we can to lighten them, accept the ones we can’t remove yet, and move on. When we learn to carry our own burdens, we become stronger. Eventually, we can begin helping other people whose load is heavier than ours. When we first share someone else’s burden, we have entered the realm that psychologists call "self-actualization", humanists call "altruism", and spiritualists call "enlightenment". I like to refer to it as simply, making a difference. There is a secret to how to lessen our burdens so that we can help others carry theirs, thus adding fulfillment to our lives". Listen closely. The secret is simply this: Every day can be a new beginning. "Oh sure," you say. "It isn’t that easy." Well, it certainly isn’t at first. I’ve expressed those doubts too. But, if we start with small things, we can work our way up to the bigger things. Speaking and Listening As we gradually improve ourselves, through principled living, we create opportunities to do more. We create opportunities to make a difference in the world, by helping others to improve themselves. And we can begin by making conscious changes in our everyday dealings with other people. There are times to speak, and there are times to listen.. We are conditioned to be passive listeners by our culture. Just go along. Don’t rock the boat. Avoid controversial issues. Don’t challenge those who encourage hatred and bigotry, since if we question their rhetoric, we may become their next target. There are real dangers in speaking up. But if we let fear keep us from speaking, we can never make a difference in the world. An Agent of Light When another person expresses an idea that promotes divisiveness and hatred rather than unity and love, we have a choice. We can be an agent of dark, or we can be an agent of light. A passive listener, one who allows expressions based on hatred to go unchallenged, becomes an agent of dark. When another person says something which violates our fundamental principles, being neutral and silent implies complicity to both the speaker and all the other listeners. We’ve all done this at times, since it’s easier and much less risky than the other option. We’ve all stood idly by when someone made a racial slur, or an ethnic joke, or belittled someone who is going through a rough spot in their life’s journey. We fear that if we speak up, we will become an outcast. There are worse things than being an outcast. There is a turning point for everyone who chooses to stand for truth and justice. Every one of us has to consciously decide to accept the consequences of speaking out. The way in which we speak out can make all the difference in our effectiveness. Our first step may be to simply ask the speaker why they feel the need to belittle others. The speaker’s reaction is fairly predictable, since he or she is probably not used to being challenged. They will probably laugh nervously, and may continue on with their rhetoric, as if you were joking. Ask them again. Now, the speaker will probably leave the previous subject and turn their attention to you. But, after blustering a bit, they will generally drop the matter and move on. The other principled people within earshot will likely feel relief. They may even express thanks that you stood up to an agent of darkness. You will have become an agent of light. A Personal Example I know that many of you have stories to tell. I’ll start off with one of mine, that marked a personal turning point.
I was reading the newspaper one Sunday morning, and came upon this
editorial:
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Well, I sat there and thought about how this man had such power to perpetuate misguided notions, and really had no idea of the harm he was doing. I did something I had never done before. I decided to speak up for all the world to see. I spent the next two hours writing and editing a rebuttal, in a fit of passion, and I e-mailed it before I left the computer. [Then it suddenly dawned on me that my morning coffee was yearning to escape my body.] Being a good editor and valuing content for his newspaper, he published my response the following Sunday: The point of sharing this with you was to talk about what it meant to me and others. What were the immediate consequences, and were they worth it? In the next couple of weeks, there were two or three poorly written letters to the editor from apparent fundamentalists, incoherently ranting. One was most concerned that I had maligned hicks somehow, and wanted me to know that there was nothing wrong with being a hick. My family seemed a little embarrassed, that I had exposed my thoughts publicly. They nervously asked whether I intended to respond to the comeback letters. I didn't need to, having nothing more to add. A few people made a point to tell me how much they appreciated me writing this when they saw me, since they agreed with the principles I expressed. But most people were silent. Even in their silence, I’d like to think some of them were questioning their own attitudes, which is a difficult thing to do. In the ensuing years, the editor has become increasingly more accepting of diversity of all sorts, perhaps even a champion at times. He runs columns about groups that are repressed because of race, gender, or sexual preference. He has recently sponsored a multi-part series with a dialogue among the local church pastors about racism and segregation in their congregations. I hope I had at least a small part in opening the editor’s mind. Most important of all, I know that I can never go back to allowing prejudice to go unchallenged. Martin Niemoller It’s important to remember that personal perfection is not necessary before you can speak out. Many of the most eloquent champions of social justice and individual dignity had personal traits that fell outside someone’s moral boundaries. It is common for someone to have started out joining in with the crowd in their youth, but finally seeing the light of truth. Religions generally make quite a fuss over awakenings of the spirit, with names like "being saved," "born-again," or "becoming one." Maybe these are all names for the same thing. Many historical examples come to mind, but I’ll use just one, the German pastor Martin Niemöller. Niemöller was not pure. He had been a U-boat captain in WW I prior to becoming a pastor. And he supported Hitler prior to his taking power. Initially, the Nazi press held him up as a model for his service in WW I. [Newsweek, July 10, 1937, pg 32] But Niemöller broke very early with the Nazis. In 1933, he organized the Pastor’s Emergency League to protect Lutheran pastors from the police. In 1934, he helped form the Confessing Church, which despite its persecution became an enduring symbol of German resistance to Hitler. He was protected until 1937 by both the foreign press and influential friends in the up-scale Berlin suburb where he preached. But eventually, he was arrested for treason. From then on until the end of WW II, he was held at the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps. Near the end of the war, he narrowly escaped execution. [from Charles Colson’s Kingdoms in Conflict] After the war, Niemöller emerged from prison to preach the following words which all of you have heard...
When they came for the Communists, I did not stand up,
Act Now! You can never go wrong by taking the high road, and being an agent of light. You can become like a virus, infecting the world, not with disease, but with principles. Perhaps today will bring you an opportunity to make a difference.
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Last Update 4/5/04 |
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